


Make It Stop

by wuwu



Series: Tumblr AUs [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Abuse, Comfort, Fake AH Crew, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Not really graphic violence but it's still there, Not shippy but I guess it can be, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wuwu/pseuds/wuwu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a nightmare Ray can't seem to shake and, lo and behold, Ryan comes to the rescue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make It Stop

**Author's Note:**

> tbh this was like 98% similar to the nightmare I had so yeah it's based on that

_He’s back. No. No, no, no, no. He just left. He has to stay out a little longer. Why is he back so fast? Why?_

_“He’s coming.”_

_Run away. Go to your room. No, go to her room. Find Mom._

_She’s in the shower. Knock. Knock, knock, knOCK. HURRY UP UNLOCK THE DOOR HE’S COMING BACK._

_“I’m busy!” she yells._

_“Open it, mamá. Please”_

_Finally._

_“What’s wrong, mijo?” Why does she look so scared?_

_“I need a gun.” There’s snot running down your face. You can feel tears in between hiccups._

_She nods with a sad smile. Why is she sad? “Of course, my love. There’s one in the box under the foot of the bed.”_

_A heavy weight settles in your chest. You gape at her with wide eyes. She’s giving it up just like that?_

_“I know why you need it. Go get it and do it, baby.”_

_“Okay.”_

\--

There’s nothing but silence as Ray wakes up with a heaving chest, gasping for air as he forces himself to sit up. It’s dark in his room, but he can just make out the beginnings of dawn as sunlight breaks past his curtain.

_It was dark there, too._

Ray scrambles off his bed and opens the curtain as wide as it can go, welcoming the harsh rays of light that grow with intensity as the morning continues. He’s tired. So tired. But he doesn’t sleep. No, he stays awake because if his mind is plagued anymore he’ll be done for.

He sighs shakily and clutches at his chest as he feels a very, very familiar weight settle. It’s not going away and he doesn’t know what to do.

Does he find someone to talk to? Of course not. He’s a criminal. He’s a killing machine, and nobody needs to know that he’s damn near close to having a break down because of a stupid dream. Does he lay down and just will it away? No, because after seven minutes of lying on his back he can feel the onslaught of tears grow and grow the longer he stays still and he needs to do something.

So Ray sits up again and pads over to the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the fridge because maybe that’ll help the deep pain in his chest.

Except he forgot about Ryan.

Stupid Ryan that likes to go on morning jogs and is always up early because he feels the need to stay in shape. And he stares at Ray with concerned eyes and Ray knows he’s a mess but he doesn’t care.

So he ignores the hand that Ryan reaches out with. He ignores the uttering of his name. He ignores the sound of Ryan’s feet thudding on the tiled floor behind him. He ignores the flurry of questions and sits on his bed, ice cold bottle pressed against his chest because he sure as hell isn’t going to drink it.

But now he can’t ignore anything anymore so he gives in to Ryan’s curiosity because he’s certainly better than Gavin.

“I had a nightmare again,” Ray mumbles, eyes downcast and staring at the one tennis shoe Ryan had managed to put on before he was pulled from his run.

“Again?” Ryan asks, eyebrows furrowing. “You know you can talk to me about anything, Ray. Especially nightmares. Lord knows we all get them in this line of work.”

Ray shakes his head. “No, those weren’t as bad. But tonight, I… I had a really bad one.” He looks up with tired eyes and a wobbly mouth as he feels the weight in his chest push down even harder.

“You wanna talk about it? Get it out of your system?” Ryan, lovely Ryan, puts his arm around Ray and brings him closer, giving no room for disagreements. He drops the bottle on the floor and listens to the thud it makes as it lands.

With a nod, Ray closes his eyes as his cheek presses into Ryan’s shoulder.

“It was about my dad,” he says. “He… He ran some sort of business, I guess. And there were a bunch of kids there. We were in our house, and every night he would grab a few of us and throw us in a room. And we would have to fight. We’d have to fight and the winner was the one who managed to stay alive ‘til the end. And I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t do a damn thing but you can’t just kill a kid like that, man.” He pauses and lets out a heavy breath. “But I got thrown in and the floor was some fucked up shit. You step in that, and you’re dead. So we climbed on some shelves and stuff before those started breaking because of that goop on the floor.

“The two kids in there with me started fighting, and this scrawny little boy won by throwing the other onto the floor. And he looks at me and he’s only, like, seven years old. But I didn’t want to die. Not like that. So I grab him and I punch him. I punch him and punch him and punch him before throwing him down and now the goop is gone so I have to end it. I have to kill this kid with my bare hands and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Ray can feel a warm palm press and rub against his back. He inhales and exhales.

“So I do it. I beat him up and. And he’s dead with all these bruises and broken bones poking out and I can’t look as they drag the body out and my dad congratulates me. _You did good,_ he says.

“But I didn’t want to do it anymore. Why would I? So I walk around the house to try and find a way out, but I can feel him coming. I don’t know where he is, but he’s close. So I run to my mom and I ask her for a gun and she just. Gives it to me. She tells me it’s okay and, and god.” He shakes his head against Ryan’s shoulder. “If that’s what it feels like to almost kill yourself, I never wanna joke about it again. And like, I can still feel it now. And it hurts.”

A few beats pass by before anyone says anything. It’s quiet and the sun is shining with all its might as streams of light pour in through the window.

“You know, you’re nothing like your father, Ray. No matter what happens up here-” He points to Ray’s head and moves down to press his palm against the other’s chest. “-will never be what’s down here. You’re not some cruel killer, no matter what your mind says in your sleep. Hell, I’ve seen you take a bullet because some kid was running away from the crossfire and almost got hit. That’s like, the exact opposite of who your father is.”

“Yeah,” Ray mutters with a shaky nod. “It’s not just that, though. Like, I don’t… I don’t think I can pick up a gun anytime soon. I just…” He shakes his head and pushes his forehead to lean on Ryan.

“You don’t have to. Just lay low, stay in the penthouse, and I’ll make sure nobody asks questions, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And now, we’re gonna do some funky butt lovin’, so get your ass in bed again,” Ryan grins.

“Please don’t say that ever again,” Ray shudders. He does so nonetheless, though, with the beginnings of a smile on his face. “I will pay you to never say that, ever.”

Ryan lets out a chuckle and moves to lay down next to Ray after kicking off his shoe, one arm draping over his waist and another bent at an ungodly angle to play with the younger’s curly locks.

“You sure you don’t wanna go and squeeze in a short run?” Ray asks, brown eyes locking onto Ryan’s blue ones.

“Nah, I’ve got abs for days, dude.”

“Ryan. Just stop.”

But he doesn’t.

And Ray can’t bring himself to mind Ryan’s weird voices and sentences as he mocks what seem to be teenagers in this day and age. Because really, he’s glad for any kind of distraction and remedy to his pain.


End file.
